How Forgiving can be Ridiculously Easy!

Don't we each have someone that we hate? Someone that we don't like so much? Someone that annoys? Someone that hurts? Someone that harms? Someone that gossips? Someone that patronises? Someone that ignores? Maybe, one of each kind, if not more! 

It seems like a lot to handle. A lot of trouble. A lot of memory space occupied to remember each unique digression, so as to treat each as they deserve. My latest pet peeve is a family member who omitted to acknowledge me at her daughter's wedding. In fact she simply did not speak to me about the upcoming and now solemnised wedding. 

I am ranting quite self righteously and complaining incessantly about it. I am hurt. And I want to tell her how hurt. I want to tell her a million things, hurtful, emotional, insensitive, whatever comes, I want her to know. 

The amount of space it is taking in my mind is significant. And so I decided, forgive her. What is the point? It was her daughter's wedding, big day - for HER and it was her's to enjoy, to include or not, to boast, to brag, to impress, to fuss over and to make memories.  Make memories with people in HER life. She failed me. It's her loss maybe. Or not. 

For me to be uncharitable to her is only making ME the victim. Which I am not. What was my role in the entire process? Her daughter decided it was time to get married, she conducted the wedding ceremony. Where do I picture in this? As a matter of fact nothing changed for me. I was busy with my own multiple complexities of livingry before and I am busy with the same now. For most of us invitees weddings are just a flash in the pan. Also many many many calories added which we can easily do without. I must actually empathise with her. Who knows what deep rooted apathy led her to exclude me. What unhappy experience made her to be so hardened. At a time when she could be her authentic best and celebrate. But most of all, I must not waste my precious time over someone else's problem.

I debated internally over the right thing to do: 

a. Talk to her. Tell her that I am hurt. Give her a chance to atone. Finally let go of it. 

b. Completely ignore the incident. Not my business!

c. Take it out on her, when opportunity shows up for me to, well, take-it-out-on-her! 

What would be the best course of action? a, b or c? 

When I look at it this way, it is obviously a. Was a. your answer? Or even b., Did you choose b.? Certainly not c. it is such a no brainer. 

If only wisdom remained our true virtue. There is a person inside of me, who is seething with anger, the person who wants to react, the person who wants an eye for an eye, the person who is blinded with rage. What would be the best way to manage her? That person who is my ego. That person who likes to react and say, 'I don't care for the outcome.' That person who leaves destruction behind, for my saner self to navigate my way out. And that person who many times puts me into the quagmire from where there seems no outlet to my calmer, wiser self. She is also my favourite person, please note. She comes with a childish fervour. She knows exactly how to make me feel young and energetic in the moment of rage and destruction. To act invincible and just fade away. Its glorious to follow her into the deepest depth of despair, rather than to just do nothing. My vengefulness therefore is unyielding. I will get solace only when I hurt her back. 

There is one more thing to consider, and it is really important to consider this. Every time, that I have hurt someone back, I have never received confirmation of the pain inflicted on them. I am never able to ascertain whether they really felt it, like I had felt. I can't just email to them and say, "please confirm the pain I inflicted on you, on the scale of 1 to 10, one being least and 10 being most painful. How much were you hurt?" And a follow up question, "If your answer to the above is less than or equal to 5, please clarify how I can hurt you at 6 or higher?" I can't send such a mail!

So no matter how much I may want my vendetta, it is never complete. With no way of knowing how much I hurt them, I remain dissatisfied even after inflicting the pain. It is not even satisfying to hurt other people! They remain inscrutable in their actions and reactions. If life was a movie, we could have flashed back and forward and got clarity over the real outcome of my act of vengeance to be portrayed with apt background track and discernible emotional outbursts. But life is not a movie. There is no plot being played and there is no means of looking into and feeling what others see or feel. This is a zero sum game, a never-ending one at that. It is a constant cycle of hurting, harming, insinuating, insulting, injuring and more, with no real, visible and final, satisfactory outcome. And if I become so dogged in my vengeance, I would only become a career avenger! Nothing more. Not the Avenger as in the movie. But Avenger who only avenges and does nothing but avenge. A life wasted in doling out to people whatever I may wish to believe is their due! But I look into the mirror and realise this instantly: I am not God!

Wouldn't it be better if I just forgave, forgot and moved on? Wow how divine it sounds. Yet it takes the heart the size of an elephant's to do that. Look, I have not seen an elephant's heart, it is probably quite big, proportionate to the size of the animal, which is, you know, big. It is logical to forgive and forget, but sounds impossible. 

Every sinew, every single muscle struggles to hold me back. Every bit of me is ready to Wage a battle to nothing and nowhere. And yes, sanity has a way of coercing insanity into restrained silence. Ridicule. Along with reason, observe the ridiculousness of the situation, and that pretty much dissolves the anger!

10 things To Do To Get Your Forever Smile!

Hey You Beautiful Girl,

Here is a piece just for you.

 "Say Cheese" and I smirked, and there, my pic had been arrested. I am the century's most successful smirker! I remember that program on national geographic which explained how a smile is not a smile unless it shows in the eyes. And how most of our smiles end at our lips, incomplete. Often, eyes are too pained to smile. 

Cheese is cheesy! Why would you want to cheese yourself into a picture? That is certainly not picture perfect. 

Have you ever noticed how many expressions you are capable of when you are not watching yourself? Its funny how you'd immediately change your expression to a mirror! I am sure you do it! There is no way you'd want to see your puffed up angry face on the mirror. I discovered an expression that my nears and dears must have suffered most entire life with me... a sullen, helpless, angst - I get to name it too! And I was so embarrassed to discover it. And to also discover how smartly I transformed on the mirror, in moments: not even daring to acknowledge my perplexing, annoying, self deprecating, disdainful expression! Who wants to be stuck with people in their lives whose dominant expression is so discouraging. I wouldn't!

So the question is, how to have a perfect pleasant face, a face which need not shy away from the mirror, instead a face which brightens up everyone around, wherever it goes. And I am not talking about a picture perfect smile, I am talking about a forever smile.

Here are 10 things you can do:

1. Practice smiling: My meditation gurus, monks at a monastery in Thailand, taught this: Smile at someone or something... anyone, anything, 10 times a day. And I did. Guess what, I feel supremely confident near strangers now. And you know how strangers often make you self conscious? A big smile can make them so at ease in your presence, they will put you at ease in turn, with their warmth. Wow what a way to meet strangers, isn't it? 

2. Appreciate your face: whatever way you discover it in the mirror today. Just appreciate yourself for whatever you are. Tell yourself, "You are Beautiful, I love you!" My top take-away from one of my soul healers, Louise Hay. I have only ever read her books, but she transformed me. The first thing I learned from her was to say to my image in the mirror, "I love you." You can't imagine how uncomfortable it was in the beginning. Because I did not love myself. I did not! Do you? 

And today, I am so completely comfortable in my own skin, I don't need to keep reminding myself of how much I love myself. Because I have begun to see the world around me, which is so humbling, so beautiful, so diverse, so enthralling, I just don't need my ego anymore. 

3. Make faces at yourself in the mirror. Be an award winning actor to your mirror. You can do whatever you choose, on the stage of your life. Including being the best actor in the story of your life. Can’t you? Well, give it a try. Smile, grin, stare, jeer, shudder, tease, pout, distort... whatever, to just know the range of your emotions. You may want to hate yourself. But you can always say... "You are beautiful and I love you," to those pathetic faces you make to your mirror. Remember the best actors are those who started acting before the mirror first. And isn't all-the-world-a-Stage?!

4. Click your angry face, chances are you will hate that person. You may feel like tearing the pic away or deleting it. But remember that face of pure anger. That is how mean and cruel you are capable of being. So you need not complain when others do the same. Just pity them and ignore them, because you have a tool to check yourself, which others don't. Your forever smile!

5. Ask for candid photographs of yourself. You can ask to be photographed candidly in an event. This will help you to find out how you interact with people. It may open up loads of truth about your personality to you. Trust me, you are the greatest stranger to yourself. You are capable of a lot more than you ever knew you could. Just see yourself from other's eyes. 

Just the other day, I had a prospective client and I told her that she looked perplexed. She immediately smiled her prettiest smile to remove my doubt. I told her I'd click her when she was least expecting. I captured her real face and made her aware of what she was carrying on her face all day long. The face she wore, when she was not looking (at herself in the mirror)! That opened up a path for her to acknowledge her real problems. 

Your face speaks volumes about you when you are not aware. Make those the best dialogues for you.

6. Think of all bad things you have ever done and love yourself for just being you. Yes, you need to accept your meanness, rudeness, jealousy, cruelty, all of it. If you think you are none of it... You don't know yourself. I wish you the strength and self-love to be able to know your darker side. You are a fine specimen of human, totally functional. Unless you are damaged in some way, you can function like all other humans and therefore you can also be awful, in fact you have the right and the license to be awful as much as you have the license to be sweet, mystifying, happy and joyous. Be proud of your self-knowledge of your own baser, darker, uglier side. Because your darkness does not disappear just because you are blind sided to it.

7. Click yourself early in the morning. Early morning, your vigour is totally unparalleled. Click yourself whatever way you are. Look at yourself, what do you look like early in the morning. You may know who you are, what you are seeking and why you are here on this planet. Don't smile for the click just click yourself without fluff.

8. Look out for your funniest photographs in your album and make a collage out of it. Keep all your ugly photos with yourself. You may or may not make a collage of it, but those are the photos which you will love the most when you are much older and life has taught you that it is not about those beautiful moments, but about every single moment, and therefore every single moment is worth cherishing. 

9. Write a letter to yourself, promising to love yourself when you are at your worst, just as much as you would, when you are at your best. Yes please write a love letter to yourself. You know the kind where you tell your beloved how much you love the person, how you are happy even when they vomit, fart burp, cough, scream in pain or bloat! That sort of love letter. Love yourself. Be your own greatest well-wisher.

10. Thank the people around you for tolerating you to the fullest. Now you know how people around you have tolerated you. Don't worry if you are also having to tolerate them. Just go ahead and thank them for being there for you. Thank them for being part of your life. There are just a handful of people who truly matter, try to make your relationships as sweet as you can make them. There is no point in spreading misery in their lives and yours' by starting an ego clash with them, getting hurt by them, judging them, having unreasonable expectations from them, torturing them, allowing them to harm or torture you, not forgiving them, listening to them when you disagree... Don't mess up your handful of relationships. Just love them and 'be yourself' for them. 

Finally enough about you. Do you know that when you train yourself to be pleasant and amiable, when you begin to love yourself, when you are unrelenting in your commitment towards you, who benefits most from it? Everyone! All the people around you flock to you, they can't be without you. People you don't even know start to connect with you.

Next time when you click yourself say CANDID! Just be you. You look good whatever way you are. 

Love you,

Rajat, Your Powerful Choices Coach

I Found a Petticoat in My Husband's Suitcase But He is Not Cheating on Me

Recently my husband was visiting the US... of A. Not just any visit. It was the wedding of his most favourite niece. His sister's daughter. Old and young alike, love her and dote on her. I do too. And naturally the excitement in the family was palpable. 

Indian marriage is loaded with many customs which celebrate the older relationships, as we enter into a new one. Not because we all love each other dearly. In fact most of the family begins to hate each other quite naturally. Human nature, ego and all. But the idea is to accept and celebrate them all, so that the new relationships are not fraught with the memories of the bitterness of the older one. 

This wedding was taking place in the US... of A. Post COVID. And I have a 13 year old who was not yet vaccinated. Even as Djokovic was being deported from Australia, psyched by the images of harrowing US visa process and a high probability of visa denial and also the soaring air fare, my hubby decided to go alone on this arduous journey to the US... of A. For practical reasons of course. He had an active multi entry VISA and my daughter and I did not. Absolutely husbandly behaviour. Especially one who has a struggling entrepreneur for a wife. Spending more than earning. 

He very lovingly asked me what I wanted from the US... of A, and I very lovingly declined the offer stating in the modern Indian nationalistic attitude... We get everything in India! But... I said, I love the clothes you got for me from the US, why don't you get some this time around! And he said, "NO." Very husbandly. In 20 years of marriage, I have learned to take 'NO' from him with a pinch of salt. In short, all went well. 

He carried a huge consignment of things that are found only in India, such as Indian clothes for wedding guests, gift from the bride's family to the wedding guests from different parts of the US... of A. He was a fully loaded cargo when he was dispatched from home. With one promise.... He would get us the 'Settlers of CATAN', a board game that both of us had played in the US at a friend's house and had loved. And of-course this was long overdue, so I did not say I wanted it. What if that changed his mind and he got something totally different?!? You know how husbands and wives tend to be totally disagreeable towards each other with time? A YES from one must be refuted with a NO from the other. That is the rule of the game. And we, me and my hubby are pro at that game. 

Quite satisfied with our interaction, I took a sigh of relief as hubby touched down in the venerated soil of the US... of A. I had my own plans. My sister had driven down from Bombay, solo, all by herself, to be with me, as my daughter's summer holidays had kicked in. And She and I had plans. Serious plans. 

My daughter, my sister and I rocked together for the ten days that she was here, while my husband was busy being our sole representative in a cross-cultural wedding, on the other side of the globe. 

And then my sister left and my hubby arrived, like a warrior returning with his battle loot, in the wee hours of a Sunday. I knew he was here, because my dogs began howling. I ran to open the door in sleepy eyes and there he was. Heavy suitcases and all. Back home. 

He went straight to bed and so did I. I did not bother him the next morning. He woke up finally at 12 pm and joined me for lunch. I had cooked a normal meal and served after a hiatus of 2 weeks. The three girls, my daughter, my sister and I, were too busy to cook normal meals all this while. All went well, besides that, that very day I had discovered something. I had discovered that Vaccination of my daughter was never an issue with us getting a US Visa and I was upset, naturally! 

And then sometime in the evening he opened his suitcase. And right on top of it were 2 petticoats a nightie and a dress that I had discarded and my MIL had taken it for her maid in Ranchi. I wonder how it made its way to the US... of A and back to my home, remains a mystery. But My MIL had offloaded some of the undesirable clothes of hers into my hubby's luggage, in all innocence! Not realising that very angry DIL is waiting to pounce at it with pure derision and decapitating anger. And my poor hubby was right there at the receiving end of that wrath. I used the choicest words to protest the discovery in his suitcase. Specifically my anger was addressed to my US returned discarded dress and the petticoats! What on earth was he thinking? And I noticed him cringing under my senseless wrath. 

My first impulse was to cut holes into those ill fated petticoats and the night dress and to punish my truant discarded US return dress by making it into a pochha (Floor Wipe). But then better senses prevailed and I let go of all of those clothes, but that discarded US return dress, that dress is not getting away. 

I realised that we women owe it to our husbands to be the more modern version of mothers when their older mother is outdated with time and excessive dose of motherly innocence. I am responsible to teach him to know what he should and should not put in his suitcase, if he wishes for a safe transit to and from his familial trips. When you refuse to get a dress for your wife, you better not be carrying your mother's petticoats in your suitcase. That is extra baggage your wife is not going to welcome! 

Fast forward to now, I am devising techniques to repair the broken egos caused by my jealous anger and to get us back to life as usual, very important for my kind of profession. I don't really need to take these little things so seriously. But I am glad I love my husband enough to be hurt by him.

Life is Not Fair, It Is Meaningful

"It's not fair" I hear this so often and its is not always that I can go on with life without feeling it myself and experiencing a jab in my gut. Life I agree is indeed not fair. But I don't know of anyone to whom life is fair. 

One fine day, while I was in a deep philosophical mood, I asked myself, if life isn't fair for everyone, is life deficient? Is life a loser? Is life worth the trouble? Is life even worth living and glorifying? 

Pat came the answer, 'No Way!' Not just any 'no way' in small italics, but a bold loud 'NO WAY' in thick bold font. The kind where you would need to first open your lips in a circle for the 'NO', and then pull it backwards and upwards like a joker for the 'WAY'. 

NO WAY! Life is not about fairness. Life is not a corporate workplace. We do not have a director-of-life. We do not have the VP or CEO of life either. In the act of living, we are all alone! We get feedbacks from the unfairness of life. The feeling of unfairness is like life's fuel indicator. If you find life unfair, maybe you are asking for more from life, much more than what life is willing to give. How about giving? How about giving when you feel that life is unfair?

Giving seems to be a mysterious activity. To begin with, what should you give? Not things, like peanuts, or alms, not even Gold. Give your ears, your eyes and your heart.. Listen, see and feel for others, that is what it takes. Most people will love you and cherish the moments shared with you, if you give just this much. 

Remember, not everyone wants to take what you have to give. Sometimes you may be overtaken by the desire to give, but you may find no one to take. You are probably at the wrong place. There is always someone who needs you. look for them. Don't be disheartened. Giving makes you a bigger and better person. But only if you give without expecting something back in return, not even appreciation.

Remember your teachers in school? You did not appreciate them back then. Not all of them. Not all of the time at least. Today, you probably understand the value of what they gave you, without expecting anything from you, not even regard. It is impossible to be liked by all, but it is possible to give to all. 

5 things you need to know:

1. Give without wanting something in return

2. Take what others give with gratitude

3. Don't take what you don't need, even if it is for free.

4. Don't get disappointed by others’ reaction when you give wholeheartedly

5. Move on, the moment you are done. 

1. Give without wanting something in return:  How can you manifest return? What you give is what you think you are giving, but it is for the recipient to take, in the way they need it. Have you ever said something without any intention to hurt someone, but have ended up confused because someone got hurt? Sometimes your giving may also hurt rather than help. You give what you have, often you may not have enough. But as you give more and more of what you wish to give, you will get more and more of it to give more away. Let go of the outcome! “Giving is not about getting back. It is about having enough that you can share it with others, without wanting a return.”

2. Take what others give with gratitude: Sometimes you may not like what you get. Just take it with gratitude, it's the gratitude that is important not what you got. You may think that someone gave you less than what you deserved or gave nothing. It is never about what they gave. The gratitude is for you to be thankful that there are people around who are willing to give. And you must encourage them even when they do not know how to give. Because the more they will give the more they will get more of what they wish to give. 

3. Don't take what you don't need, even if it is free: I remember returning the buy-one-get-one-free block of ice cream, frequently, because I wanted just one block of ice-cream and not 2. Taking whatever you get for free is a big mistake. Remember accidents also come for free. But the cost of it could be exorbitant. Don’t just take things that come for free. Leave it for someone who really needs it. Or for the giver to realise that they could make a better use of the give away.

4. Don't get disappointed by others’ reaction when you give wholeheartedly: Not everyone can like you and not everyone will ever like you. If the reaction to your giving is not to your satisfaction... you need an exercise in making peace with your ego. What you gave is what you had and maybe it was not enough. It is okay that you made an effort. You need not feel within yourself emotions which you did not intend to feel. 

5. Move on, the moment you are done: Once you have given, don't wait for appreciation or response, just move on, because you have done what you felt like doing, you need not delve into the act any further. Let the past be in the past, no matter how glorious. There is so much to do in life, why delve in things already done?

These are simple lessons of life but they can make a big difference to you if you adapt it and live it. 

Live your life the way it works for you… Make POWERFUL CHOICES and be the boss of your own life. 

With loads of love,

Rajat - Your Powerful Choices Coach. 

Not Everyone Can Be Like You

"Not everyone can be like you," my friend was being really kind to me when she said this... I took over the challenge of doing a Fellowship in Management (FPM) to take my research work in a more organised path. I have been toying with an idea of research for over 8 years now, never really getting any close to the real thing till now. 

Goes without saying that FPM involves deadlines, classes, tests and reports and of course the real research work. This is in addition to my business of coaching and training and my teaching work at an EMBA program. So I kind of have my hands full! but not really so! I have designed all my plans around my convenience. I don't have any external prompts driving my decisions. 

Let me explain how this works... 

1. I am not concerned about the marks I score, not certainly in comparison to my classmates. I'd rather get 100% on all papers, but in case I can't, I accept it as a handicap and try to consider my purpose of joining the course. And that is to complete my research. The marks will do nothing to augment or restrain it. So I am good!

2. I am not concerned with writing the best research paper. Because that is relative. I am concerned with writing a research paper which addresses my reason for taking up my research. And that has to do with uplifting women to a greater social equity. And I measure my results only with the ability to cause it. That objective is clear in my mind.

3. I am not interested in being present in all classes, but I am interested in learning all there is to learn. That keeps me away from the live classes and takes me into the mode of reviewing the recording of the classes with a faster playback speed! 

4. None of my classmates are my competitors. They all have their own purpose for attending the course and I just want to follow my purpose. 

5. My research is related to my work, so basically when I am working on my business, I am also in some way researching!

6. My overbearing passion is one. And that drives my every act. This keeps me levelled and unperturbed with small setbacks. 

In short, I am good... thank you. 

Now the question, why can't others be like me?

Because they worry about results in comparison to others?

Why should they? All my fellow scholars have attained some fantastic successes in their lives. I wonder if they ever recall these successes when they compare!

Because they want to match up?

Why? They can't be matched anymore. And I would have assumed that they have figured this out by now! But somehow our system keeps us away from the truth. 

So now I want to look at what really causes people to compare and to pull themselves backwards unknowingly but most certainly!

The constant comparison: We forget that we are aiming our comparison to a bunch of people who are shoulder to shoulder with us... but there are others, so much more accomplished, that we cannot even think of comparing with them, unless that is, we stopped comparing altogether!

The constant desire for more... there has to be a clarity about what we need more of, often it is just a desire for more, with no clarity of what exactly we need more of. So that takes us into the path of asking for more of everything... more of entertainment, more of food, more of fashion, more of knowledge and more of money. And that becomes a balancing act. There will be areas where we cannot have more of... so we compensate ourselves by saying, 'oh ok so what, I have more of these other things'. The bad news is that we often don't get more of what we need most of! Because obviously there is a higher level of challenge involved with those aspirations! Well that leads to mediocrity and we learn to accept less of everything, while blindly seeking more of everything!

Huh! 

And Double Huh!

The thing is, I wasn't always like that! But the toll that constant comparing took on my sanity, was not worth it. For once I felt like a total failure and for the other, no one was interested in what I was awesome at, because obviously they could not beat me in that! This is a lesson learnt from life! And it is working for me... Don't compare, don't compete.... just go for the real thing... life as it is, for you and for me! 

Divorce

That punctual servant of all world, the sun, had risen, it was a bright Sunday morning. Anuja woke up to her cell phone ringing at her bedside.

"Anuja, how can you be sleeping so late, and that too today. Remember today is my divorce hearing, and I want you to be on my side." 

"Anuja rubbed her eyes and poked Sunil on the other side of the bed. "Wake up Sunil, your friend needs you today, Lisha called me and I am going to meet her in 30 minutes, you don't forget to be with Rahul." Sunil turned over and slept again. 

Anuja got ready quickly, there was no time for breakfast, she decided they can have something to eat on the way. Sunil got up a little later and was getting ready too. 

Though Rahul had not called Sunil but it was understood that he would be beside Rahul in this most difficult day of his life.

Sunil and Anuja decided to take their own cars as there was a chance that the divorcing couple would need to be dropped off or would need a refuge for sometime during the proceedings. 

They agreed to eat at the courthouse breakfast joint, they both had heard about the awesome vada they serve there. They had just begun eating when Lisha joined them. She was hungry too and she ordered vada for herself. Rahul came in silently and took a table two three tables away. He may have seen them with Lisha so he did not join them. 

Sunil surreptitiously moved to Rahul's table after making a quick eye contact with Anuja. Lisha and Anuja kept eating without exchanging any words. 

Anuja felt a pang of deep pain to see how Lisha and Rahul's Divorce was causing a rift between her and Sunil too. They had stopped talking about the two of them some months ago, after realising that their friend's domestic struggle was bringing them apart too. 

But there were times when each of them would have heard something disturbing from Lisha or Rahul and would pass in a jibe to the other. 

"Your friend just dumped Rahul's work clothes out in the rain yesterday." Sunil would say.

"Your friend crashed in on Lisha when she was having lunch with her colleagues and yelled at her for being callous, in front of all her colleagues." Anuja would say.

But they both were slowly realising that their marriage was also hanging on invisible threads, and if they severed too many of them, they would fall apart too. So both of them consciously stopped discussing Lisha and Rahul at home. 

Anuja knew that today was not the day, still she wanted to ask Lisha if she wanted to rethink her decision. The couple had been living apart for a whole year. In this time Anuja and Rahul had tough time deciding who should be called to which party, who should be given refuge in their home from time to time when either of them suffered a breakdown. They were the closest friends of Lisha and Rahul. They were literally like family. 

Anuja said very cautiously, "Lisha, I know now is not the right time. But after today there will be no turning back. Have you made up your mind?"

Lisha looked up at Anuja incredulously, "Is this the time to ask this? You know everything that happened. You know I have cried for days because of Rahul." 

"Yes I know all that. I stuck with you in those times, but that does not mean I agreed to your judgments. I hoped someone would tell you where you were getting it wrong. Someone from your family. But no one intervened and no one understood. I have realised that we were the closest family you had and we were just playing it safe with your both. And I will not be able to forgive myself for not having tried."

'Thank you, Anuja, now you have tried and it has not worked, can we move on?" Lisha snapped. 

"No I have not tried enough. Just give m a moment, I need Sunil here. I need to talk to him." She messaged Sunil on his cell phone. Sunil was so engrossed in listening to his friend, he did not notice, she called him and asked him to check his message. It said, "Sunil I need you to come here."

Sunil glared at Anuja, what was she thinking, leave Rahul alone and go to Lisha? Bet he decided to go anyway. Anuja caught Sunil midway. She said we have got it all wrong. You should be with Lisha and I with Rahul. Let's swap. 

Sunil suddenly realised that there was sense in this, even if Anuja thought it up too late, there is nothing to lose. 

Anuja joined Rahul at his table. "Rahul what is up are you sure you want to do this?" She said without any preamble. 

Rahul was so stressed and restless, he looked up from his cup of black coffee and said nothing. Anuja knew she had the answer. But it was too late now. Lisha and Rahul were divorcing and their closest friends had not been able to reconcile them because they were busy picking an choosing between the two of them. What could be done! 

Suddenly, they heard a commotion from the courthouse and a gunshot. People were running heater skelter. Anuja called Sunil out alarmed, "let us get out of here Sunil." Rahul and Lisha had taken public transport. Sunil did not want to let Anuja go separately, so he suggested that they take his car back and leave Anuja's car at the courthouse. Rahul offered to drive Anuja's car back for her. Sunil said, "Anuja you are coming with me." Lisha was torn between them. She looked at Rahul, Sunil just told things about Rahul, which was not aware of, she was struggling with the information. She said I will come with you Rahul. Rahul said a curt okay. They rushed to get the cars and get out. 

They all reached at the same time. There was a commotion on the streets too, a riot had broken out in the city. Anuja and Sunil did not want Lisha and Rahul to go back to their respective homes alone. They insisted that they stay with them. 

No one knew what would come next but for some time all of them were exactly like they used to be before. Lisha and Rahul decided to stay with Sunil and Anuja for the night. 

They were both together under the same roof after a whole year. They were no more angry but they were heart broken. Anuja and Sunil were exhausted. They knew that the emotional journey they had taken with Lisha and Rahul and last one year was no less tormenting. 

They just did not have the energy to do it anymore. They could have been in grave danger today and everyone was glad they made it safely from the courthouse. 

The next date for divorce hearing would be decided later. Till then there was a status quo. 

"Guys I am not feeling alright," Anuja announced early in the evening, "I am going to sleep." Sunil followed her to check on her. He told Rahul how to get the extra mattress and gave him some clean sheets. He asked Lisha to use the guest bedroom and he retired with Anuja too. 

Somehow Anuja and Sunil were tired of taking Rahul and Lisha's problem as theirs and of separating themselves because of the estranged couple.  They did not offer to make any adjustments for them. They just did not want anymore of it anymore. 

Who knows what is in store during these days of deferment of the court's decision. It was just some days of deferment but it had been worth it. At least that was something, thought Anuja to herself as she dosed off.

Tailgating

No one ever gave me directions like this, Anuja thought as she heard this for the nth time from Sunil, "stay in your lane and maintain the speed limit." Sunil was a thorough back seat driver. He would not spare any opportunity. Anuja seethed with anger when he spoke non-stop as she drove, telling her how to drive.

"Incorrigible Sunil." She muttered under her breath. "But that car behind me is honking, let me take care of this." Said Anuja as she changed the lane. But she was not careful enough, the car in her blind spot honked and as it overtook her, she saw 4 angry faces in the car.

"We could have been killed." Sunil yelled, "what is up with you." Anuja knew that this would be replayed to her every time she drove in Sunil's presence. And that was it.

"What is with you, why are you not listening?" Sunil shouted anxiously, as Anuja kept changing lanes.

"We are being tailgated, that guy appears drunk, but why is he following us? Look...."

Sunil did not let her finish her sentence, he cut in, in an irritated voice, "... it is not possible Anuja, why would he tailgate you. You must be imagining it."

"Just keep watching that black Volkswagen, it is driving very close to us." Anuja pointed on the rear view mirror, sounding quite concerned.

"Why don't you just go to the left lane and let him go?" Sunil said.

"I did, he changes lanes too!" Said Anuja perplexed.

She showed the left indicator, and this time Sunil saw it too. The black Volkswagen changed lanes with them. A chill ran under their skin. They had heard of highway incidents of road rage and drunken driving. Those were very common in their city. This was different. This was a real car chase. It was deliberate and therefore disturbing.

Sunil looked back and tried to peer through the rear screen to see if he could recognise any of the passengers in the car. But he did not. The guy on the driver's seat was a chauffeur, in a uniform. He was not drunk and he was tailgating their car unmistakably.

When they saw Sunil looking back, the car slowed down. It picked up speed again when Sunil turned away. What was going on?

"You keep driving as if nothing has happened Anuja. Let me take care of it." Said Sunil at length.

Anuja heaved a sigh of relief and secretly thanked the tailgater for getting Sunil off her shoulder for a while. She decided she will message her friend later to thank her.

That was her friend's driver. Anuja had asked her to give them a shock just for some fun. And also to get rid of of one particular backseat driver and make him be just a passenger.

"It would not last for ever." Anuja thought, "Sunil will be the back seat driver again, but it had been worth it. At least that was something."