Off late there has been a disturbing change in my household. I find it almost impossible to keep my home clean to the standards I have myself set for my house. I thought I was probably a little stressed about the many things that are going on in my life, but when has life been without its occurrences? I wondered what has gone wrong with my housekeeping skills! Unnecessary things lie around in house, without being removed for days. Dumped items to be cleaned later, with no sign of 'later' at sight. I was really concerned about this change in me and I wondered how I was going to get myself back in order.
And then I
discovered the reason. Eureka! Unimaginable but true, the answer lay in what we
consider our lifeline and a revolutionary means of instant communication! Yes,
I am referring to Whatsapp and its
older brother Facebook. Both siblings
have a way of binding you to their allure and charm for hours, filling in the
time you would otherwise use for productivity, creativity and mundane activity.
Oh well later!
My daughter began calling me 'Whatsapp Mamma' and my husband at times
would get mercurial with my Whatsapp-centric-attention to him. But I
was just not getting it! I was not getting it because, I have built a network
of strong friendships and relationships owing specifically to Whatsappp.
Facebook has not bothered me much, I don’t share a lot on FB. But Whatsapp just
swept me off my feet. I would Whatsapp with multiple groups all the time. Some
even professional groups. Some of these friends, whom I had not met in two
decades, are my support system now. Some of my professional contacts have helped
me immensely, merely because we are in touch, all thanks to Whatsapp.
So I had a
justification to immerse more and more into the Whatsapp world. I began
developing attention deficit. My mind would always be divided. And therefore I
began avoiding tasks. All sorts of tasks by the way: legal work, bank work,
doctor’s visit, cooking something new, reading the book I bought last week,
month or even year, cleaning the house, all of it! I was just putting them off,
till they became a chronic problem! Owing to the objection from my
daughter and husband, I curtailed too much use of Whatsapp in their presence.
But all my 'me time' was still being
absorbed with Whatsapp.
I never had time
to catch up with pending work. I ignored things lying around in the house
because, there was a world inside my phone that drew me into it, where physical
world did not matter. If I had been
breaking bit by bit into bytes, as I focussed on the phone all day long, by today,
I would be just a few gigabytes, tucked away somewhere in the cyberspace, all
my other possibilities dissolved in this self-effacing and self-glorifying
activity all at once.
Self-effacing because,
I preferred to be immersed in just a devise, rather than face real people.
Self-glorifying because I was spending time getting appreciations and likes and
smilies on my messages, posts and achievements, with increasing multitude of narcissism.
Experts say that, this activity, of constantly seeking appreciation by way of
likes and appreciations, secretes a hormone called Dopamine in our body. And can you tell me what other things cause
the secretion of dopamine? Any guesses? Well let me tell you and brace yourself.
Dopamine is secreted by excess use of drugs, alcohol and cigarette. “Oh my God,” I said to myself yesterday,
“I have become a drunkard! A drug addict!
A smoker! What have I done,” I said, as I watched this amazing you-tube
video by Simon Sinek on 'Millennials in
the Workspace' a must watch, take my word for it!
So I began
noticing my activities from last evening on. Here are some instances, does it
sound familiar to you:
-
I
look up at the house, say, "why is
it dirty," go back to reading messages on Whatsapp. Can’t focus on
Whatsapp either, I open the Facebook, check the updates, go back to Whatsapp.
-
I
switch on a you-tube video but have too little inclination to listen intently,
so I flip and read Whatsapp messages in-between.
-
I
wake up in the morning and after brushing and before I fix tiffin for my
daughter, I peek into the Whatsapp. After I get her ready, I drop her and while
coming home, I catch up on Whatsapp.
-
I sit
down for 30 minutes, just to catch up on Whatsapp in the morning.
-
I
look for something in the house, I become impatient, but no worries, Whatsapp
brings me back to inaction in no time.
Like the sloth, I lounge on one corner of
the house, me and Whatsapp! The dopamine has got me and messed with me long
enough, I vow today! I now need a plan to check Whatsapp without disruption. “I am no drug addict material, dopamine will
not run my life” I remind myself as I clean my home today!
Some ideas to
improve the phone usage habbit:
Simon Sinek suggests-
- do not carry
your phone when spending time with friends and family
- In a meeting
never carry the phone. Chat with colleagues when waiting for a meeting to begin
to build networks and associations, rather than being distracted by the phone. “It
is very rude,” he says, “to have your phone on the table, face up or face down,
when in a meeting!”
Some suggestions
from me-
- When checking a
message on phone, stick to the task at hand, do not open personal messages
during work hours.
- Overcome the
need for checking smilies and likes on your posts. Spend that time in making
another smiley-worthy-creation.
Have your wine,
but not too much lest you become a drunkard. Connect on Whatsapp but do watch
out.
Whatsapp is irreplaceable, unavoidable and
undeletable! It is, trust me. My
school friend in Canada, is hosting a radio show in New York city and her
friends, all of us, in India, are messaging song requests on Whatsapp, which
she plays real-time and even announces the name of the requester. Long live Whatsapp!
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