5 Things To Do In a PTM

"Mamma when is the next PTM?" My 8 year old asks me at least once every month. She looks forward to these 'Parent Teacher Meetings'. And we in turn leave no stones un-turned. Call us weird! For this special occasion, I dress up in my best saree, though not a very regular saree wearer otherwise, I drop all my work and appointments. My husband takes an off from work, sheds his techie shorts and gets into his trousers. We spend as much time at the school, as our daughter wishes, no one is in a hurry!

In today's corporatised schools, the parent teacher interaction is extremely elusive. In my daughter's school it happens only twice a year. Besides that, the only means of communication with her teachers are diary notes. I cannot just walk up to the teacher and share a casual chat, like I used to in her preschool days. This means that these two PTMs and about two other occasions, Sports day and school fete, when we visit school and meet the teachers,should be treated as sacred. This is our only chance to meet face to face with those significant adults in our child's life, who influence herwith greater ease than ourselves. We need to respect these silent architects in our child's life for the difference they make. 

In doing so let us also not forget to leave a tacit message that our child means a world to us and that we do not believe in compromising in anything- the education, the environment and the respect given to our child. Let them know, how well connected we are with our child's shortcomings and how much we expect tolerance in that matter!

Here are a few tips to make the PTM a productive day for you, your child and her teachers:

 1. Do your homework: Keep all the red flags ready, if the child is not enjoying a subject or does not like a teacher, that is a red flag. Even if the child's friend does not like a teacher and the child spoke about it, it is a red flag. Children do not easily dislike a likable person. So basically whatever this individual shares as a feedback about your child, has to be analysed cautiously. As a matter of fact all feedback, good or bad, have to be analysed with caution. Over indulgent teachers are as much a risk as cynical ones. An overindulgent teacher can risk making the child too pompous and to lose interest in learning and a cynical one can make the child lose interest in whatever subject they teach. 

2. Let the teachers speak: If there are constructive feed backs or problems shared, do not get disheartened, not everyone can have a good opinion about your child. Make note of it, let the comments sink in. Do not show any reaction in front of the teacher or the child unless it is to defend the child, as mildly as possible. You have a lifetime to teach your child, the teacher may be in a hurry to improve her. Your child will even come to you with marital problems later in life, so there is a lifetime, remember that!

3. Be your child's guest: Let the child take you on a tour of the school. The school means a lot to her and you can't be in a hurry when you have gone to her school. Forget your appointments. They can wait. This is the seat of your child's character building, clinch this chance to see it how she sees it.

4. Make friends with teachers who are short tempered: It is important to make friends with all of the kid's teachers, but never forget to praise the tough ones. It helps your child to deal with the ugly scenes that are common with the short tempered types.

5. Remember teachers are humans: And humans can be right and wrong and everything in between. Do not take anything to heart unless you have fully analysed the discussion that took place. You are responsible for your child's life, the teacher is only responsible for probably just one year, and even less if she is eyeing at some more lucrative job in another school. Know your child in advance, PTM should not be a surprise revelation for you. It should be an opportunity for the teacher to know your child better. 

There is no point in getting hyped up if you get all positive inputs from the teachers. You knew your child already, didn't you? There is no point in getting all depressed and worked up, if you got a difficult feedback. Weren't you already aware there was a problem? 

The more positive you are during the PTM the more influence you will have on your child's teacher and on your child. In the end your child will grow up on positive values and not on mere teacher feedback and marks cards. Just accept it all and go with it. In the end you will solve all of it, if you go with a problem solving attitude. Good-luck for the next PTM!

 Dear Readers, I am not an expert in this matter, this article is based on my own experience of being a mom.