"It's not fair" I hear this so often and its is not always that I can go on with life without feeling it myself and experiencing a jab in my gut. Life I agree is indeed not fair. But I don't know of anyone to whom life is fair.
One fine day, while I was in a deep philosophical mood, I asked myself, if life isn't fair for everyone, is life deficient? Is life a loser? Is life worth the trouble? Is life even worth living and glorifying?
Pat came the answer, 'No Way!' Not just any 'no way' in small italics, but a bold loud 'NO WAY' in thick bold font. The kind where you would need to first open your lips in a circle for the 'NO', and then pull it backwards and upwards like a joker for the 'WAY'.
NO WAY! Life is not about fairness. Life is not a corporate workplace. We do not have a director-of-life. We do not have the VP or CEO of life either. In the act of living, we are all alone! We get feedbacks from the unfairness of life. The feeling of unfairness is like life's fuel indicator. If you find life unfair, maybe you are asking for more from life, much more than what life is willing to give. How about giving? How about giving when you feel that life is unfair?
Giving seems to be a mysterious activity. To begin with, what should you give? Not things, like peanuts, or alms, not even Gold. Give your ears, your eyes and your heart.. Listen, see and feel for others, that is what it takes. Most people will love you and cherish the moments shared with you, if you give just this much.
Remember, not everyone wants to take what you have to give. Sometimes you may be overtaken by the desire to give, but you may find no one to take. You are probably at the wrong place. There is always someone who needs you. look for them. Don't be disheartened. Giving makes you a bigger and better person. But only if you give without expecting something back in return, not even appreciation.
Remember your teachers in school? You did not appreciate them back then. Not all of them. Not all of the time at least. Today, you probably understand the value of what they gave you, without expecting anything from you, not even regard. It is impossible to be liked by all, but it is possible to give to all.
5 things you need to know:
1. Give without wanting something in return
2. Take what others give with gratitude
3. Don't take what you don't need, even if it is for free.
4. Don't get disappointed by others’ reaction when you give wholeheartedly
5. Move on, the moment you are done.
1. Give without wanting something in return: How can you manifest return? What you give is what you think you are giving, but it is for the recipient to take, in the way they need it. Have you ever said something without any intention to hurt someone, but have ended up confused because someone got hurt? Sometimes your giving may also hurt rather than help. You give what you have, often you may not have enough. But as you give more and more of what you wish to give, you will get more and more of it to give more away. Let go of the outcome! “Giving is not about getting back. It is about having enough that you can share it with others, without wanting a return.”
2. Take what others give with gratitude: Sometimes you may not like what you get. Just take it with gratitude, it's the gratitude that is important not what you got. You may think that someone gave you less than what you deserved or gave nothing. It is never about what they gave. The gratitude is for you to be thankful that there are people around who are willing to give. And you must encourage them even when they do not know how to give. Because the more they will give the more they will get more of what they wish to give.
3. Don't take what you don't need, even if it is free: I remember returning the buy-one-get-one-free block of ice cream, frequently, because I wanted just one block of ice-cream and not 2. Taking whatever you get for free is a big mistake. Remember accidents also come for free. But the cost of it could be exorbitant. Don’t just take things that come for free. Leave it for someone who really needs it. Or for the giver to realise that they could make a better use of the give away.
4. Don't get disappointed by others’ reaction when you give wholeheartedly: Not everyone can like you and not everyone will ever like you. If the reaction to your giving is not to your satisfaction... you need an exercise in making peace with your ego. What you gave is what you had and maybe it was not enough. It is okay that you made an effort. You need not feel within yourself emotions which you did not intend to feel.
5. Move on, the moment you are done: Once you have given, don't wait for appreciation or response, just move on, because you have done what you felt like doing, you need not delve into the act any further. Let the past be in the past, no matter how glorious. There is so much to do in life, why delve in things already done?
These are simple lessons of life but they can make a big difference to you if you adapt it and live it.
Live your life the way it works for you… Make POWERFUL CHOICES and be the boss of your own life.
With loads of love,
Rajat - Your Powerful Choices Coach.
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